Yes we can!

I’m always thinking of the things I can’t do. I’m not able to do. But I never see the things I 

actually can do. The things that make me who I am. Make me stronger. Maybe wiser. 

Act the way I do. Treat the people different than I did before. 

Unfortunately, the things that make you a better person are always the things you think you 

can’t survive. They never happen without pain. Mostly mental pain. I just start realizing that. 

People always said “it will be worth it”. He will be worth the wait. But it’s not just him being 

worth it all. Through all this pain, I apparently really turn out to be who I truly am. These 
scary experiences make me the woman I am today. And I haven’t reached my destination 
yet and probably won’t until I lived my life till the very last day. They say the way is the 
destination.

There’s many things I’m not able to do, or at least I think I am not, yeah. But there’s equally 

as many things I absolutely can do:

FIRST Afghan

I am with a guy for around four weeks and he deploys to Afghan for six months. He doesn’t 

keep in touch on a regular basis, but I keep writing to him at least once a day. My love to 

him grew with every day he’s been gone to this war zone. I went seven whole weeks 

without a single word from him after five and a half months. I had doubts, yes, a hell of a 

lot. But deep inside, I had faith in him, me and out relationship. Six months turned out to be 

seven. I was able to give all these sacrifices and so much more after just four weeks of a 

relationship. This shows me how serious I am with him. 

SECOND The time behind Afghan

C. came back from Afghan over a month later than it was planned. I was unbelievably 

happy that we made it through. I saw him one night, possibly the happiest night in my life 

so far, and then he flew back home. And didn’t stay in touch. Possibly the worst time in my 

life so far. Five whole weeks I tried to understand what was happening. I couldn’t. Still, I am 

able to forgive him what he did to me and love him more than ever. 

THIRD A military relationship

Do something that not many have the courage to do. I do it every day. Simply being with 

a soldier. Or mostly, being apart. Not that I never wanted to run. Hell, I wanted it so often. 

But I couldn’t let go. Never. 

FOURTH Communication

Every time we are apart, communications are not easy. Not at all. Sometimes I don’t hear 

from him in days, even though he’s not in a war zone. I panicked a lot, but I feel I am getting 

a bit calmer now. And then I get a text saying “I miss you like mad”. 

FIFTH Separation

Majority of a military relationship. Sadly. But truly. I am with C. now for nearly a year. The 

time we spent together I can count on one hand. Seven months apart due to Afghan. 

Another month apart after Afghan. Another month or so apart due to OP Olympics. Nine 

months so far. Not including the regular working weeks. I often wondered if a relationship 

is able to grow with so much time apart. I don’t know yet. But what I know is that I am so 

deeply in love with him that I am still trying.

I realize I never felt like this before. I realize this has to be something special.