The first milestone

We reached it: our first milestone. This is a month done. Part one of six at all is over now. I'm so glad the first bit is done. I really am. It has not been easy though. At the same time the first month is over, I am without contact with C. for ten days at all now. Ten days without being able to make sure wether he's alright or not. Ten days without hearing his voice. Ten days without being able to speak to the love of your life. And no one knows how many days will follow.


Anyway, the first month is done. And I am so glad about every day that is behind us. A month closer to him coming home. A whole month. Five to go. It feels like a lifetime in the beginning. I don't know if this feeling will pass. I just know that six months are seriously feeling like a lifetime. You look at the events you will miss together. You look at the time you will spend apart. You are just looking forward to that bright golden day, which is his homecoming day. 

But what about the time you are wasting? Is it wasted time you spend apart? I doubt it. After the first four weeks I already learned so much. I learned so much about the army. I think I will learn so much more about the army. Some things I actually don't want to learn to be fair. I learned the hard way that when they say "I will call you tomorrow" it is for 99 per cent sure they won't. Probably for 100 per cent. I learned the hard way that they are not able to do even one call a week, if their schedule is that strict. I learned the hard way that waiting by the phone doesn't make him call any sooner.

And I learned the hard way that you just don't know how strong you are, until you have no choice other than finding that strength. You just have no choice. I learned not to loose my faith. Just keep it. Keep the faith. Be patient. Of course there are times, I feel like I'm just loosing my head. When I can't focus. But being focused is another important part of this journey. I learned that in my four weeks as well. It can be hard at times, very hard. But it's the only thing that stops you from loosing your mind. 


Being in love with an infantry soldier is anything else but easy. Being in love with an infantry soldier currently deployed in Afghanistan makes it even worse. But the only thing you can do is keeping your faith. Believe he will call again as soon as he gets the chance. And be sure that you will arrive the second milestone, which is in four weeks.