It's Sunday again. It's a really sunny and nice warm Sunday again. We crossed the border to October already. When I think back one week, I am happy I am seven days into my first deployment. I don't want this day a week ago back. Never. Never ever bring that day back, please. I remember the pain I had. Not just me, but C. as well. I remember curling up in bed like a little ball, wishing he would come back. I didn't stop wishing he was already back, but I changed the ball-position to a standing-up-position. Keeping your head up und marching on proud is obviously the only right thing to do. It is bloody hard, but it's the only thing you can do. I think I did perfectly well keeping myself busy during this week, till today. I worked from Monday till Friday, had some plans in the evenings, plus I know what i wanted to do at the weekend. But today it's Sunday again. It's Sunday... I actually wanted to catch up with my mate, but suddenly she couldn't make it. So i ended up by myself, not having a "plan B". I think these days are the worst. Ending up on your own, not knowing how to keep busy and how to get rid of thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.
C. is on my mind 24/7, whatever I'm doing, how busy I am. But today, time doesn't pass quick enough. I hate it when time sticks like glue. Pass, pass, pass! That's the only thing I want for the next five months and three weeks. Time flying by! So I have him back home safe soon. Soon! That's what he keeps on saying. "I'll be home soon. I'll be back before you know it." Seriously? How?
We shouldn't make the "waiting game" of it. Waiting game? Waiting in front of the phone. Waiting for the post man. Waiting for just any little contact from him. It makes it even worse. But sometimes I just can't help it. I really can't. Especially at days like this. I know there won't be any contact at all. But anyway, I am still waiting. Waiting for just any contact, waiting for the time to pass.
It's Sunday again. Sundays seem to be the worst. And it will be Sunday again in seven days. Which means again a week closer anyway.
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