The very first call - The journey has begun

I felt so weird the last days. It's day three of about twohundred. It is the very beginning and so many days ahead, but anyway something makes me very happy right now. I waited for it every moment of the past three days. I waited for it since C. called me from the German airport, just a second before he was boarding to Afghanistan.That was the last time i heard from him. And I waited for a call. I waited for this first call. I waited for him to tell me he arrived safe, he is doing alright and he loves me. And he called me tonight. 

It was a buzz. 

I actually expected a quick call again. But it was different. He just sounded so happy. He sounded really happy. I expected him to be very busy and exhausted and just mad, but he was happy to hear my voice. He spoke as if he was just in his room in his camp in Germany. It was unbelievable to hear his voice. It made me feel so close to him. I could write a whole novel about this 20-minutes phone call. Well, I could do that about the ten-second phone call he gave me from the German airport as well. The only feeling I have is overwhelming love. I miss him, but I love him hundred and hundred times more.

The journey has started now. Hopefully under 200 days to go. 

The hardest good-bye

A short introduction of myself before I start my story. I am a 20-year old girl who madly fell in love with an infantry soldier a couple of weeks ago. I knew him for a couple of months and he was always there if i needed someone to speak to. I never thought there would be more than friendship. But he was there for me, every single day. After a couple of weeks, I knew him better than anyone else. And what I knew from the first day was that he is deploying to Afghanistan at some point in September.

Well, so far the background. What date is it today? It's a nice, sunny Sunday. "A beautiful day", how C. would call it. I bet it is a relaxing day for most of you. What day is it for me? Well, it is the day i was afraid for for two months. It is "D-Day", how many army wives and girlfriends call it. The day when my lovely soldier has to deploy for six months. 

This day made me struggle so much. Can I make it? Will I get through it? Well, you can't decide who you fall in love with. And he took away my heart. So I have to go through it. I don't know how yet, but I will.

We had some awesome weeks together. We shared many memories. We laughed together. And we cried together while speaking about him going away. We had some special last hours together. He painted me a picture to remind me of him whilst he is away. And then I took him back to his camp in the early morning of this sunny Sunday, because they made him work on his last day in Germany. It was the most heart-breaking thing I've ever done. I wasn't meant to cry, but I just couldn't help it. "I'll be back before you know it", that is the sentence he told me about a hundred times the last days. Back before I know it? I wish it was that way. He hasn't even left yet.

Just people in the same situation know how daunting it really is. Do you know what it feels like having a broken heart inside your chest? Because your other half is going into a war. Do you know what the last kiss feels like? The very last hug? The very very last glance at each other? My God. I never felt like that before. I can't even describe this feeling.