Christmas is upcoming

With Christmas getting closer, I think this journey is getting harder. Even tho I found kinda routine eventually and I don't panic directly when I don't hear out from C. for some weeks at all, it is so hard seeing all these loved up couples especially during this time of the year.

I wish I could tell every girl that is complaining about her boyfriend being away for a couple of days or weeks how lucky she is. I wish I could tell every girl whos boyfriend goes on holiday alone how lucky she is. I wish I could tell every girl how lucky they are having their boyfriends safe. 

But I know I shouldn't complain as long as I don't receive any bad news and I know C. is doing alright. Can you imagine this is quite hard to keep in mind? All you want is a simple phone call of your other half being in Afghan. You know he must be busy. You know he misses you as much as you miss him. You know he feels the same loneliness. But you still want to speak to him, after days or weeks of waiting and not hearing from him. You try and understand he just didn't get the chance to call.

"No news is good news"

Of course. This is so hard to keep in mind. But it is so true. I always have to remind me how lucky I am that C. is alright. When the love of your life is in a war zone, it is the little things you learn to appreciate. Even tho you want to have a phone call of him, you are glad your phone is quiet and you don't get any bad news. Even tho you are hundreds of miles away, you know you are still under the same sky and he is looking at the stars during the night as well as you are.

You never tell him how hard it really is for you because you want him to concentrate on his job. You have to be the rock even tho you need one yourself as well. You get to hear

"this place is the one people cross before they go to hell"

What makes it feel you like when you get to hear something like that from the love of your life? You want to cry, scream and just get him out of that country but as you can't, you sit down and write a letter to him. Not a sad or soppy one, but a cheery and funny one to make him smile as much as you can in that hell. 

It might be hard for me, but I cannot imagine how hard it has to be for him.