Phone calls

Before C. went out, I had no imagination about how contact would be. Now I am nine weeks into my first tour and I can say: I still haven't got a clue how often I will hear from him. Sometimes I don't hear out for weeks, and then I am lucky and get two calls in a row.

I always thought it would be difficult to speak to him on the phone, that he would just be tired, exhausted and in a crappy mood. But it's not like that. I still never heard him complain. He used to say "this weather sucks" or "I miss you so much I really can't wait to get back", but is this complaining? I doubt it. I heard many army wives or girlfriends moaning about their soldiers on the phone being all negative. I haven't experienced something like that yet. I am still wondering how he is doing it, how he's always sounding so happy everytime he calls me.

What I never know is with what random thing he comes up with the next time he calls. "I'm sitting on a motor bike" I've heard a couple of times now and that doesn't impress me anymore I have to say. Last night when he phoned it was "I'm lying on a helicopter field right now". Oh, really? Something new, not just the motor bike! His way of dealing with everything makes me just really happy. 

But it's not just the silly things in his phone calls that are cheering me up, it is those lovely ones as well. Hearing him saying "all your pictures are in my bed" is just the best thing ever. Hearing him saying "I can't be really happy over here, but when I speak to you I am" makes me proud. 

All these special things he gives me through one of his rare phone calls make me appreciate them so much. Everything he says makes the whole waiting so much worth it. And every moan I hear from another army girlfriend about their soldiers behaving wrong on the phone makes me realize I have found my perfect match. I'd rather speak to him less and have an amazing conversation after two weeks of waiting than getting a call every couple of days and having a less special talk to him.

He gives me everything of him he can give me through every call he does. He gives me little pieces of him back. He gives me memories, moments I can remember during the time he's not able to call. He gives me cuddles, kisses and hugs with every word he says. He gives me everything I need to get through this tour. 

And during the time we don't speak, may it be days or weeks, I know we are thousands of miles apart, but secretly really close. Because I know when I miss him he does the same. I know when I wish he was with me, so does he. I know every moment I think about him, the moments we shared together, he is thinking about me and our memories as well. 

We are never far apart, because our hearts are bonded.