The lost lines

We wait hours and days and weeks for just any form of contact. We wonder, we over think and yes, we do panic as well. It’s the hope for just any sign, but it won’t come. 

What’s happened? What have I done wrong?

You worry sick, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t concentrate on things you should concentrate on. “You have to get your mind clear!” I wish I could. I really do need a clear mind but it won’t happen.

What if you just find six messages in your inbox? That should have been delivered two months ago? It’s emotions and worries and more emotions and guilt.

You write and write and write and you try and fill every line, every word, every letter with joy and fun. When deep down you want to break, you write the cheeriest letters. Oh, how much did I write. It’s been so long. I don’t want to write anymore. I want to speak to him, I want to see him, I want to touch him. I want to smell his scent and feel the touch of his skin. But I can’t. 

It’s the cruelest thing to take the one you love the most away.  

What do words mean? Sentences? Letters? They mean so much to me I can hardly describe. If I ever hear from him again. I just need a word from him. What do my letters mean to him? I don’t know. He said to me all he wants is letters. I promised to give him letters and I didn’t break my promise. All I want is a smile on his face. All I want is him to be happy. I wish I could make him happy. I wish I was the one making him laugh.

Words and words and words. 

I just want to hear from him. I just want him home.